An Experience With Myself

Personal Change is a holistic process that begins with the tangible circumstances of our present existence and progressing to what we make of them.

It is as much about the choice of the moment, the “yes or no”, as it is about the search for an answer to the question: What is the reason and meaning of my existence?

For me, inner balance, harmony, and Shalom (peace) between our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are the ultimate goal of personal development. The means or path is developing free willpower and correcting our conscious intentions (attitudes) and actions. Every action requires a will that precedes it and a capacity to realize that will.

Why is it hard to change? We must recognize that simply learning, e.g., about kindness, does not make us more kind. Moreover, our inner drives, wounds, and appetites often manifest as an evil Inclination, actively preventing us from behaving as we know we should.

How we can have a clear idea about the future consequences of our actions.

We know what is good for us, even on the most basic levels, such as well-being, not only on ethical and moral levels. It is simply in our interest to do good and not in our interest to do bad. However, we often end up doing bad things, which is a striking phenomenon. It should not be like that, but the human being has this possibility of living in an illusion that is our enemy, our bad enemy; because of this illusion, we will live in a world of fantasy, ignoring what is good for us and doing things that are bad for us.

The fact that we can live in an illusion is ultimately a choice.

It is not a conscious decision, but there is something we can control. There is a moment when we could decide otherwise. We could not live in this fantasy, in this illusion, and we could be aware of what is good for us and what is, in the end, the best for us.

This book is an introspection of life, a personal experience of how to correct and change our moral attitudes based on the principles of Mussar (Jewish ethics) and Torah study.

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