Facing one setback after another, Jordan, known as ‘J' in this novel, finds himself confronted with the past showing up in his present life in a way that shattered his life into pieces.

J takes you on a journey of life still in the game based on true events of failures, trauma, love, and tragic loss, and the will to self-reflect to find one's passion.

There were many coffee visits to my mother’s house, but one turned out to be one I would never forget. Mid conversation, I stopped to show my mom a funny meme from a social media platform when a post in my feed made my stomach drop. Confused, I saw a picture of my fiancé, Angelica, with a black ribbon on the side of the picture.

“WTF?!” was all I could think. In disbelief, I went to Angelica’s page and saw multiple posts saying she was gone, no longer on this Earth.

Four days had passed without any communication between the two of us. The last time we spoke was via text message while attending a football game with my father. We had moments when we would give each other space, but this silence was different. To randomly find out why she was not responding to my daily messages was that she was dead? A gulp trickled to my heart. Though I struggled to breathe, I covered my mouth, trying to make sense of this image.

How could this be?
What happened to her?
Who can I speak with to confirm if this post is true?

Six months before our wedding, she was gone. The woman I had fallen in love with, the one that brought me light and joy, had left me standing in my mother’s kitchen heartbroken and confused about what caused her death.


A personal message from the author:

I started writing this book when I needed another outlet to heal from the tragic loss of my fiancé.

When I thought my life was moving forward, the grief I felt re-introduced past trauma into my present life. So, I decided that I wanted to share my story and my pain, in hopes of encouraging others to push through their suffering.

We can always find something to help ourselves and help someone else. And if someone can find something in my story that can contribute to making their life better, than this book was worth writing.

–Anthony Jordan

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