Hating God, Loving God by A. K. Davies
How a Young Man Born Into Suffering and Driven to Despair Found Jesus Christ
When we asked A. K. Davies why he decided to write his autobiography, especially when it must of been painful to relive his tortuous path and pain, he said:
Trust me, for months I didn't want to. To willingly divulge and emotionally relive some of the moments from my past would of been and was incredibly painful. I was happy and at peace with my past and that's exactly where I wanted to leave it. But if we've learnt anything from Holy Gospel, it is not our will, but God's will. Nearly every single night I'd prayed before bed, I'd always ask him “Father, what do you want me to do with my testimony? What is your will?” And every single night, I'd get a voice or a thought saying ‘write and share it in a book.' You can ask anyone who really knows me, I am not a writer. Hell, I'm not even much of a reader, so writing a book, any book, is the furthest thing I would of done and many can testify to this. But after weeks of ignoring his word, I finally gave in to his will instead of my own. Five months later, it was published.
If you the reader cannot understand what purpose there was in writing this book, then I ask you to gaze upon the cover and know that this testimony, my testimony, is spread throughout the world.
Hating God, Loving God presents the author’s graphic and painful memories of being raised in a secretive, abusive, and manipulative cult, and how his childhood sufferings spilled over into a troubled adolescence and a deeply disturbed adulthood. In throwing off the lies told to him by the cult’s elders, he also threw away any sense of God’s love and mercy.
His pain, fuelled by a hatred of God, whom he blamed for all his troubles, turned him into a bully, a petty thief, and, but for the grace of God, a murderer. Somehow, he survived adolescence, got an education, and set out on the road to making money, believing that the accumulation of possessions was the only thing that would earn him respect. But his pain persisted, and he sought relief in all the wrong places. Even the unexpected love of a good woman was not enough to take away the pain.
Adrift in an ocean of despair, he decided to commit suicide. It was only then when he was at his lowest point that he was ready to accept a truth he had persistently denied: the truth that God loved him.
After giving his life to Jesus Christ, who transformed him and renewed his soul, he went from hating God to loving God.